My relative expired recently. What is the procedure for observing theettu?

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Sir – My relative (Chithappa – fathers blood brother and not cousin) expired recently. What is the procedure for observing theettu? I have the below questions 1. How many days we should observe? (we means my generation and next generation like my son / daughter). 2. We were asked to change the poonul on the 13th day (sudbasweekaram) day, light the lamp at Sannidhi, apply kolam. Till 13th day, we didnt do anything – is this the right way? 3. We were told not to ; to any temples for 30 days and avoid hill / malai temples for one year (i.e temples like thirupathi / thiruneermalai / ahobilam to be avoided for one year whereas other temples are okay). 4. What are the things we should be observing for another one year? I know we should not be celebrating functions like pongal, etc. i.e. all events where vadai, payasam is done to be avoided till the next year? 5. What about Navarathri in case if it falls within one year? 6. Are we supposed to observe Marghazi (preparing pongal every day morning and reciting Thiruppavai) ? I do not have Saligramams in my place. I have not got Samasranam yet. Our usual practice everyday is to light lamp, offer fruits or whatever we prepared after taking bath at the Sannidhi, apply kolam – should we continue doing this. Apologies if I have listed too many questions. But I want to know the right dos & donts Thank you so much.

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Answer: For immediate paternal side brothers and cousins for first generation, one ought observe the mourning as one does it for their own parents. Yes, one full year mourning; no temple visits/theertha yAtra etc. Most importantly to avoid visiting any Divya Kshetram temples that has the Dwaja-sthambam; rest other non-specific temple can be visited. It is right that your vaadyar has guided you correctly.

For one full year, there is no festivity including Navaratri. However, daily and routine ThiruvArAdhanam can be done including the Margazhi Aradhanam and ThirupAvai recitals too can be done on regular basis.

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